present

©Fourwoodthinking

A few years ago, before my little boss was even a thought in the world, a good friend shared golden parenting advice.  As a first time mother with an inconsolable sick baby, she rocked her daughter in the middle of the night thinking, “No matter how tough it gets, this moment, in all of time, will never again recur.” She appreciated even hellish nights with a respect for the present moment. Other mothers will rock their screaming babies, but never again will that particular moment recur with those two individuals. I’ve kept these words close since Rivers was first born.  I smile when he smiles, and I smile when he doesn’t.  The patience I bestow to my little boss has only  recently crossed over to me.  Yes, I wish I could be a super mama and sweep through chores or stop wearing stained sweatpants in public.  I wish I could edit photos and blog each day or bake a batch of cookies in fewer than three days.  Alas, it may be years before I swing into a comfortable routine. Only within the last few days have I accepted, even embraced that knowledge.  My new job is challenging, sometimes chaotic, but definitely beautiful.  I may not be the best juggler, but I’m patient and present more than I have ever been.

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